Life is a Journey

I have come to this page many times. Over and over again I've tried to write a post, any post for that matter. But...I never get more than a few sentences in. I have no motivation. Writing used to be such a big part of my life, but lately I haven't done anything of the sort. Me writing hasn't stopped entirely, it just takes different forms now. In my journaling and in my art and in some social media posts. But certainly I haven't been writing as much as I once was. It was bothering me so much for so long. Then I realized that life consists of changes. There are many different stages of life that we walk through. Maybe I should worry less about not doing something and more on what do I need to be doing right here and now.

What should I being doing right now? I'm not entirely sure. I know that I always have the desire to DO something. To make a difference. To have an impact. To change people's lives. One of my biggest fears is living my life without ever doing anything meaningful. I don't want to waste the life that God has given me. But in the hurry to reach that undefinable "something," I find myself missing out on the life that is unfolding around me. Not just that, but I'm missing out on my own life. I'm not enjoying the journey. I am not happy with where I am right now.

There will always be goals to strive towards. There will always be something to run after. Those goals, those things aren't everything. More than half of it is the journey that it takes to get there. The experiences that one has. The growth that happens. The things that on learns.  The hard work that is put in. All the tears, the laughs that happen. The relationships that are made. All these things make up a huge part of doing something or reaching a goal. None of these things should be considered meaningless. They all play a part in making you who you are.

Time is constantly moving. It never stops. Not for you. Not for anyone. Time is always moving forward. But this doesn't mean that we should rush towards the goals or that "something." No. We should realize that life is going to move forward whether we want it to or not. So what's the rush? It is all happening on God's time. There's definitely the urge to move, that's a good thing, but we certainly don't have to rush. Be present where you are. That's something I'm trying hard to learn.

So much has been happening in my life lately. Some big changes are possibly coming up if everything goes smoothly. I'm excited and nervous at the same time. I think I'm making the right decisions, but who will really know? I don't know the future. The idea scares me. Lately, I feel like I have more questions than answers. It is frustrating sometimes. But even that is progress. You have to have questions in order to be able to answer them. You can't have answers without questions. I'm going to continue to move forward, forward in the belief that God is in control. The best thing that I can do is take things one step at a time and be present where I am. Life is a journey. There will be good times. There will be bad times. But such is life. That shouldn't stop one from enjoying it when possible and living to the fullest.

G. Paige

Time slips by...

Whoa. We're almost in March. I feel like this year has barely begun and it's already so far into it. It's really weird thinking about it. And it's even worse thinking about how I've only posted once on my blog since the new year began. Don't ask me how that happened. I have no excuses. Be happy that I am here now and not into whatever I have been into these past few weeks. I think there are times when I'm at a lost as to what I've been doing.

I've been doing a lot of thinking these past few weeks...months. And a lot of purposefully not thinking. When I think, I overthink. Usually, that turns into stress or anxiety or this feeling of being overwhelmed. When it gets like that, I just need a break from my brain.

Personally, I've probably been more busy than I've been in a very long time. Being responsible for a lot more things than I am usually responsible for has good and bad side effects. And while I can handle it if I take it one step at a time, a lot of the time I tend to think of everything all at once and it is nerve racking.

But recent events have brought something up to the surface of my mind. Something that I know and understand, but something that I also need to remind myself of. It's that time is short. There are so many instances where we feel like time goes by so slowly. It feels like honey, pouring out of a jar. Slow. In reality, time moves at the same pace that it always has. Nothing changes. When you think about it in reality, it's only your perspective that makes the time seem to go faster or slower. And looking at it in context of the many, many years that you'll spend in eternity, this life here on Earth is nothing. It's barely a taste of what's to come.

So you've heard time is short. Maybe you've heard it over and over again. You've become numb to the phrase because you have heard it so much. But think about it. Really, really think about it. People die. Just like that and they are gone. They're a breath of wind. They quickly come and just as quickly go. It's terrifying, knowing that someone could leave this world at any moment.

We shouldn't allow our fear about the death affect our way of life, at least, in a bad way. This fear shouldn't motivate us into inaction. I believe that this knowledge can motivate us in a good way. In a way that requires us to live our lives to the fullest, to live without regrets.

The time that we have here is precious. Let's not waste it. Time slips through our fingers like sand. It won't be here forever. I don't want to look back at my life with regret. I know that there will be things that I will look back on and wished that I could change, but I want that kept that to a minimum. When I look at my life as a whole, I want to be glad that I lived the way that I did. Don't you feel the same?

G Paige