tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8513557243253810032024-02-06T23:28:09.832-05:00Unwinding the Souljust one small person who wants to make an impact in a big worldGabi Phttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10580749414249383088noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-851355724325381003.post-83236148829318074592019-07-11T14:45:00.000-04:002019-07-11T14:46:06.416-04:00Moving to a New BlogI love this blog. I really do. I've put a lot of my heart into this blog. But, I've been wanting something a little more professional and a little cleaner looking. I have also wanted my own domain.<br />
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So I was led back to Wordpress, where I started from. I still didn't want to use my old blog though, so I started a new one.<br />
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I want to thank everyone who has supported and encouraged me on this blog. It really means a lot. You'll never know how much it means to me. I hope that you'll continue to follow me as I grow.<br />
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I have some exciting ideas floating around my head for this new blog that will hopfully come to fruition. We'll see though. Who knows what the future will bring?<br />
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Anyways, I'm sure you've been waiting for the link. So here it is: <a href="https://gabrielapaige.com/">ever wandering, ever learning</a>!!! I would appreciate it a lot if you would take the chance to look at it. Thank you so much!<br />
<b><br /></b> <b>G. Paige</b>Gabi Phttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10580749414249383088noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-851355724325381003.post-48716259836883492292019-06-20T05:00:00.000-04:002019-06-20T05:00:01.995-04:00Life is a JourneyI have come to this page many times. Over and over again I've tried to write a post, any post for that matter. But...I never get more than a few sentences in. I have no motivation. Writing used to be such a big part of my life, but lately I haven't done anything of the sort. Me writing hasn't stopped entirely, it just takes different forms now. In my journaling and in my art and in some social media posts. But certainly I haven't been writing as much as I once was. It was bothering me so much for so long. Then I realized that life consists of changes. There are many different stages of life that we walk through. Maybe I should worry less about not doing something and more on what do I need to be doing right here and now.<br />
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What should I being doing right now? I'm not entirely sure. I know that I always have the desire to DO something. To make a difference. To have an impact. To change people's lives. One of my biggest fears is living my life without ever doing anything meaningful. I don't want to waste the life that God has given me. But in the hurry to reach that undefinable "something," I find myself missing out on the life that is unfolding around me. Not just that, but I'm missing out on my own life. I'm not enjoying the journey. I am not happy with where I am right now.<br />
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There will always be goals to strive towards. There will always be something to run after. Those goals, those things aren't everything. More than half of it is the journey that it takes to get there. The experiences that one has. The growth that happens. The things that on learns. The hard work that is put in. All the tears, the laughs that happen. The relationships that are made. All these things make up a huge part of doing something or reaching a goal. None of these things should be considered meaningless. They all play a part in making you who you are.<br />
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Time is constantly moving. It never stops. Not for you. Not for anyone. Time is always moving forward. But this doesn't mean that we should rush towards the goals or that "something." No. We should realize that life is going to move forward whether we want it to or not. So what's the rush? It is all happening on God's time. There's definitely the urge to move, that's a good thing, but we certainly don't have to rush. Be present where you are. That's something I'm trying hard to learn.<br />
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So much has been happening in my life lately. Some big changes are possibly coming up if everything goes smoothly. I'm excited and nervous at the same time. I think I'm making the right decisions, but who will really know? I don't know the future. The idea scares me. Lately, I feel like I have more questions than answers. It is frustrating sometimes. But even that is progress. You have to have questions in order to be able to answer them. You can't have answers without questions. I'm going to continue to move forward, forward in the belief that God is in control. The best thing that I can do is take things one step at a time and be present where I am. Life is a journey. There will be good times. There will be bad times. But such is life. That shouldn't stop one from enjoying it when possible and living to the fullest. <br />
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<b>G. Paige</b>Gabi Phttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10580749414249383088noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-851355724325381003.post-6411496304146702132019-02-13T06:00:00.000-05:002019-02-13T06:00:02.757-05:00God's Grace through the ChallengesIt's been so long since I last posted. It feels like a lifetime ago. My life has been constantly changing ever since the beginning of last year. I don't think there's been much of anything that's been a real constant in my life. In many ways, it has been wonderful. I've ventured out of my comfort zone. I've done so many things that I've never done before. It's been a constant challenge...and honestly, it's been pretty rewarding. I've learned a lot. That's not to say that it has been easy. There's been challenges that have been really tough. Ones that I don't understand why I have to deal with.<br />
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I'm not here to talk about all the problems in my life. Everyone deals with challenges. Everyone has issues that they have to deal with. It's a part of life. Whether these hardships change overtime or one disappears in order for another one to appear, I think that we can all agree that challenges are a part of everyday life. Sin entered this world and hardships are now something that we have to constantly deal with.<br />
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In the face of that, life seems kind of daunting, doesn't it? I feel you. I really do. In all honestly, life hasn't been the easiest this fall/winter. There's been times when I've lost sight of the goals in front of me. I've forgotten or abandoned the purpose that God has given me. And I wonder why I'm even here. What's the point of all of this? It's awful. I feel ashamed, but you know what? I'm saved. I'm saved by grace. I don't have to be ashamed because God's grace covers all my faults. His forgiveness sets me free. Why am I telling you this? I want you to know me for who I am. I'm a broken human being. I'm sinful. I have my faults. I'm not perfect.<br />
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We all deal with different kinds of challenges and hardships. What's important is that you are not alone during those hard times. You are not on your own. God, who's greater than you and any of the problems that you may be going through, is always with you. Even more so (this is something that I've been realizing a lot lately) God will bring certain people into your just at the time when you need them. He has done that a lot for me lately. There are so many people that came into my life just when I needed them. They are such a blessing and they don't even know it. I have so much to be thankful for.<br />
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This just goes to show that you may be a blessing in someone else's life without even knowing it. Someone may be going through a really rough point in their life and your words may be just what they need to hear. You never know. So be kind. Show the grace and love that God has shown you. Such things can go a long way. You may never know how much of a difference you're making in other people's lives. Be the light that you want to see in this broken world. Hold on tightly to the relationships you have. They are more precious and rare that any jewel that can be found on this earth.<br />
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<b>G Paige</b>Gabi Phttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10580749414249383088noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-851355724325381003.post-49249689927281603822018-11-15T08:00:00.002-05:002019-02-13T02:42:05.726-05:00Thankfulness ThursdayNovember.<br />
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A month of Thanksgiving.<br />
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So much has happened since I last wrote.<br />
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I don't remember a year where things were constantly changing so much. I love change. I really and honestly do. But there's change that makes me feel so much joy and excited inside and then there's change that is sad and painful. Things are constantly changing. None of us have a chance of stopping it. It is just the way that the world works. We just have to constantly readjust to the change.<br />
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There's been a lot of both lately. Last week, I left Michigan. Long before the sun began to rise, my two roommates drove me to the airport. There were heartfelt goodbyes to be had. The three of us had lived out our lives together for more than four and a half months. We had become close. Really close. I left them Wednesday and have been holding back tears ever since.<br />
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The night before I left, we were all seated around the table. It was quiet, each of us lost in our thoughts. Somber ones at that. It was at that moment that one of my roommates suggested each of us going around and telling our favorite memory of the others. As we went around, I realized just how much I have to be thankful for. Leaving them was one of the hardest things that I've done. Truly. But I wouldn't have missed going to Michigan for the world. The skills I acquired there. The relationships that I developed. Even though it made it so much harder to leave, it was still so worth it to go.<br />
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I've had the opportunity to travel a lot. Traveling is something that I've come to absolutely love. I can't even imagine a life where I lived in the same area for more than a few years. It's hard to just think about. One of the hardships of moving around is all the people I leave behind. I've said more goodbyes than I care to count. But the world is small. I have friends in many different places so there's a good chance that we'll meet again.<br />
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This gives me hope. But even if I don't see them again, I still find worth in investing in those relationships. Relationships are so important. Whether it's long distance or close, invest time in people. Things are constantly changing in this day and age. But relationships are constant. The relationship itself may morph and change over the years, but it is still there. You can move away and still keep in touch.<br />
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I am so thankful for the relationships that I have. I wouldn't change any of them. They mean more to me than anything. Things fade and pass away, but the people, the people stay.<br />
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<b>G Paige</b><br />
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<i>This post is a part of Grace's blog link-up <a href="https://totallygraced.blogspot.com/2018/11/thankfulness-thursday-iii.html">Thankfulness Thursday</a>.</i></div>
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<i>Click the link and check her blog out!</i></div>
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Gabi Phttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10580749414249383088noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-851355724325381003.post-58156876444954635372018-09-10T16:00:00.000-04:002018-11-14T08:53:40.191-05:00Life. People. Purpose. Meaning. What's Important? I'm here.<br />
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Can you hear me?<br />
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The silence is deafening.<br />
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Does it make a difference whether I write or not? I would like to think that it does. Maybe, just maybe, my words will mean something to someone.<br />
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Words. They can mean so many different things. Hope. Anger. Joy. Sadness. Contentment. The list is long. Much longer than the space I have here.<br />
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Life is a hectic, busy mess. Seeing friends, both old and new. Conversations, some involving tears. Others that make me so happy that I can't help but smile.<br />
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Often, there are times when I'm just done. I don't want to have anything to do with this world or the people in it. It's too hard. But sometimes, I'm able to see the beauty of life. Though there are times when it is so hard to just keep moving forward, that makes those precious moments and memories so much sweeter.<br />
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Life is not just about me. I've known that for a long time. But I think that I've only fully begun to understand just what that means when you live it out. It involves going out of your way to make a difference in the lives of the people around you. Sometimes that's as simple as sending a text to someone, showing him or her that you care and you're thinking of them. Other times it takes a little more effort. Like taking time out of your day to talk to someone who's struggling. Or spending some money to make another person's day. It takes effort. It's hard. But the results are so worth it.<br />
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It is so much more important to understand that what you do matters. Especially since life isn't about you...or me. It really matters. Every action you take has some effect on those around you. There's no way around it. What you do matters. So find what's important to you. What is your purpose? Find those things that fulfill your purpose and bring meaning into your life. Once you find them, pursue them. Don't pursue them halfheartedly. PURSUE THEM. Chase them. If it takes doing something that you don't enjoy for the time being to get to what you do enjoy. Do it. If it takes letting go of some things in order to spend time on what's actually important to you. Do it. Don't wait. Nothing's going to change until you make a move.<br />
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Plenty of people talk about waiting for an answer from God before making a move to follow or pursue some dream. I'm not against that. There's a time and a place for that. For sure. But more often than not I find that we need to make the first move before we get an answer from God. Let's say that you're in the driver's seat of a car. God is the steering wheel to lead you in the right direction. You have to press the gas pedal in order for God to steer you in the right direction. The steering wheel is useless until the car is moving. You can't tell which direction you're headed until you start to move. And maybe there will be a time that you'll head in the wrong direction. That's entirely possible. In fact, it is probable. For that, I can tell you only one thing. God is great at redirecting. He will make sure that you are following the plan that he has for your life even though you can't see it. He knows your purpose backward and forwards. He's not going to let you go down the wrong path forever.<br />
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<b>G Paige</b><br />
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<br />Gabi Phttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10580749414249383088noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-851355724325381003.post-90925943525245360812018-07-01T17:00:00.000-04:002018-07-01T17:00:11.063-04:00Learning to Let GoThis past week was a very long week. I have never worked so many hours in one week in my entire life (I think I had about forty-five hours in?). Then again, this was only my second week of work. There is so much to get used to and readjust to. Also, I can't believe that it is July. Time has passed so quickly these last few months. I feel like it was only a moment ago that I was in Ecuador, but no, it was over a month ago!<br />
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I know that in my last post I talked a lot about my missions trip and my job, but that wasn't all that has happened in the past month or so. I got home from Ecuador only to be smacked in the face with a really tough situation. It left me in a lot of tears. I was extremely upset. I was sad. I was angry. I was a whole mess of emotions. Any amount of trust or views that I held of this one person were torn apart and scattered to the wind. I didn't know what to think. I didn't know where to begin. I had never dealt with anything like this. I could have never imagine that something like this would happen. Not to me. Not through someone so close to me.<br />
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Over a month later and I'm still trying to figure things out. Lately, I've been so busy that I've been able to block out the whole situation. But when I have some free time and I'm able to think, that's when it hits me. It messes me up. Emotionally and mentally. It really hurts. I want to this pain to go away. I want to throw it at someone. I want to let it go. But I don't do either. I hold onto it. I think some part of me thinks that I brought this upon myself. That I deserve this. It's my fault.<br />
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I've been struggling with these and so many other thoughts a lot recently. This whole situation has led me to some important understandings about God and about myself. I find these things to be very important. Which is why I want to share what I've learned with you in hopes that they'll be somewhat helpful to you as you journey on through the adventure of life.<br />
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First of all, you can't change people. This is something that I desperately wish was untrue, but it isn't. We, as human beings, do not have the power to change people. We certainly have the power to influence people and in that way we change people in small ways. But it it impossible for us to really change someone. For real change to happen, change that comes from the heart, only God can accomplish.<br />
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And honestly, I don't want to believe that. I was to take control. I want to change people. Right here. Right now. But that isn't up to me. That's up to those people and God. I can't make their decisions for them. The knowledge that I can't make other people's decision. The fact that I am not in charge of other people and their actions. This leads me to the conclusion that there is only so much that I can do for others. I can be as big of an influence as possible to people, but in the end, they have to make the decisions. They can change, but I can't change them.<br />
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You can only lead someone in the right direction.</h3>
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You can't make them take that step.</h3>
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Once that you have done all that you can do, you have to learn to let go. That is the last point I want to make. Letting go is something that I don't do very well. I want to hold on. I want to have control. I want to make a difference. I feel like if I let go, I'm giving up. I feel like I'll have regrets. I always feel like there's something more that I can do. Opportunities that I should've taken advantage of. It's not true though. Sometimes you come to the point where there is nothing you can do. There's a point where you've done all that you can do and now it's up to the other person to make their move. At the end of the day, everyone has to make their own decisions. <br />
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I'm not going to say that any of this is easy. It isn't. I'm still trying to figure it all out with the situation I'm working through. Really, it's going to take a lot of time and effort to pull through this, but it will all be worth it in the end. And I know that I will feel better for following through with what I've learned.<br />
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<b>G Paige</b>Gabi Phttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10580749414249383088noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-851355724325381003.post-53363540849213957032018-06-24T16:00:00.000-04:002018-06-24T16:00:21.126-04:00A Life Update (First Job and Missions Trip)It's been so long. Like really REALLY long. I feel like I've forgotten how to blog. This is not what was supposed to happen. At least, it is not what I wanted to happen. I actually want to be more consistent with blogging, but that's hard to believe with the way that I've been blogging lately. There are many reasons why I haven't been blogging. A big part of it is procrastination. Hahaha. I need to work on that side of me. That's not all though. Surprisingly, I have some very important reasons for not blogging of late.<br />
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For one thing, my life has turned around. In all honesty, I feel like I've been stuck in a ditch for the past couple of years. My life wasn't awful, in fact, it was quite good. I just feel like I've been in the same place in my life for awhile and I've wanted something to change but I didn't know how to go about doing that. Last summer was amazing. I went to my first college conference and met so many amazing people. I stepped out of my comfort zone and did something. But when I got back home, I felt like I was right back where I started.<br />
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Well, in April I applied for an internship. Now this wasn't a nearby internship. It was a job in Michigan for a few months. I've wanted a job for awhile now, but it's hard to get a job in Puerto Rico when you're not fluent in Spanish. Another thing is I do not have a driver's license or car that would enable me to go to work. This also because a problem for the internship I was looking into in Michigan, but a sweet friend saw how I wanted to do this internship but wasn't able to because of the above reasons. She was planning on doing the same internship and offered to drive me around. I could not believe this. Later another friend told me the same thing. We'd be all roommating together too. I couldn't believe it! I have some amazing friends. Eventually, I applied and got the job. June 17th I flew to Michigan and I've been working since Monday. It's been great. I have such incredible coworkers and I'm learning a lot from this experience. It's crazy to be away from family though. I don't believe I'll be going back until sometime in November.<br />
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That's not the only major change in my life though. My school, Lumerit Scholar teams up with Global Encounters and does a short term missions trip to Ecuador every year. I heard about it earlier this year, but kind of dismissed. Ecuador wasn't one of the places that I really wanted to go to. Also, I knew that the team would be working with kids and I wasn't sure if that was something that I could do well. Then I saw a post from a friend about it in late March. I looked into it and realized that I could really do this if I wanted to. I've always wanted to do long term missions work, but I've realized that I won't know if that is something that I'm meant to do until I went on a short term missions trip. I saw this as an opportunity to find that out. And seriously, was I really going to be so picky about where I went? It felt like the missions trip was staring me in the face. So what did I do? I applied. AND I WENT TO ECUADOR.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBQ5n0PxP84V_g8KHkM6Zw93syhjntCcQ9oaFYsDXa_hhmxb5INyBN_Qkou8_E9pcEF11zIw8aJw_z1jt4zzvRlzdE0DkunYPU1KlQqjfNc1i00qRxADAqHzzHVub6Hb7f8H7bex6-ieR1/s1600/IMG_3933.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1068" data-original-width="1600" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBQ5n0PxP84V_g8KHkM6Zw93syhjntCcQ9oaFYsDXa_hhmxb5INyBN_Qkou8_E9pcEF11zIw8aJw_z1jt4zzvRlzdE0DkunYPU1KlQqjfNc1i00qRxADAqHzzHVub6Hb7f8H7bex6-ieR1/s400/IMG_3933.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
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Words can't describe my experience there in May. This picture hardly does the trip justice. The team and I spent time working with kids and teens. We did songs, skits, games, stories, and crafts. With the teams, we were able to go a little deeper and be a little more personal, talking about life purpose and relationships. While we were there to teach them about the Gospel, I too learned so much. I stepped outside my comfort zone the moment I got there and I don't think that there was a time when I was in my comfort zone in Ecuador. It expanded my comfort zone significantly. I found myself enjoying public speaking, though in the past I have always hated it. I tried many different foods, like humitas and quimbolitos. I hiked from 11,000 feet to 14,000 feet, one of the hardest things I've ever done. The mountains of Ecuador are beautiful. The people there are wonderful. I had a amazing team. Some of the team and I did a bit of swing dancing and salsa dancing on
the rooftop at the hostel we stayed at. There were many late nights and
deep conversations. There was lots of laughter and hugs. It was hard to say goodbye. I think I left a part of my heart there in Ecuador. I am so thankful that I went. I know for sure that I want to do more missions trips.<br />
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So many things have happened. There's been a lot of changes. I'm still trying to process it all. I honestly don't know how life is going to change from day to day. What ever plans I had for this year I've left in the dust, but I am much more happy with where I am now than anything that I could have imagined. God has greater plans in store for us than anything that we could come up with. <br />
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<b>G Paige</b><br />
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Where has<b> life taken you of late? What are you doing for the summer?</b></h3>
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<b>I want to hear from you! </b></h3>
Gabi Phttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10580749414249383088noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-851355724325381003.post-23289500535841465032018-02-28T22:00:00.000-05:002018-06-19T11:19:32.028-04:00Time slips by...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Whoa. We're almost in March. I feel like this year has barely begun and it's already so far into it. It's really weird thinking about it. And it's even worse thinking about how I've only posted once on my blog since the new year began. Don't ask me how that happened. I have no excuses. Be happy that I am here now and not into whatever I have been into these past few weeks. I think there are times when I'm at a lost as to what I've been doing.<br />
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I've been doing a lot of thinking these past few weeks...months. And a lot of purposefully not thinking. When I think, I overthink. Usually, that turns into stress or anxiety or this feeling of being overwhelmed. When it gets like that, I just need a break from my brain.<br />
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Personally, I've probably been more busy than I've been in a very long time. Being responsible for a lot more things than I am usually responsible for has good and bad side effects. And while I can handle it if I take it one step at a time, a lot of the time I tend to think of everything all at once and it is nerve racking.<br />
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But recent events have brought something up to the surface of my mind. Something that I know and understand, but something that I also need to remind myself of. It's that time is short. There are so many instances where we feel like time goes by so slowly. It feels like honey, pouring out of a jar. Slow. In reality, time moves at the same pace that it always has. Nothing changes. When you think about it in reality, it's only your perspective that makes the time seem to go faster or slower. And looking at it in context of the many, many years that you'll spend in eternity, this life here on Earth is nothing. It's barely a taste of what's to come.<br />
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So you've heard time is short. Maybe you've heard it over and over again. You've become numb to the phrase because you have heard it so much. But think about it. Really, really think about it. People die. Just like that and they are gone. They're a breath of wind. They quickly come and just as quickly go. It's terrifying, knowing that someone could leave this world at any moment.<br />
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We shouldn't allow our fear about the death affect our way of life, at least, in a bad way. This fear shouldn't motivate us into inaction. I believe that this knowledge can motivate us in a good way. In a way that requires us to live our lives to the fullest, to live without regrets.<br />
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The time that we have here is precious. Let's not waste it. Time slips through our fingers like sand. It won't be here forever. I don't want to look back at my life with regret. I know that there will be things that I will look back on and wished that I could change, but I want that kept that to a minimum. When I look at my life as a whole, I want to be glad that I lived the way that I did. Don't you feel the same?<br />
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<b>G Paige</b><br />
<br />Gabi Phttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10580749414249383088noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-851355724325381003.post-47309458108820704162018-01-06T06:30:00.000-05:002018-06-19T11:19:38.695-04:00You are not alone.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I was recently struck with the realization of how precious life is...and how fragile it is. Life is radiant, vibrant, so full of...essence. But it is also very delicate. It is like a wisp of smoke that disperses into the air. It is soon long forgotten and never to be seen again.<br />
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If you didn't know, I listen to a lot of K-pop (Korean pop music). It wasn't long ago that an artist, who I have listened to, died. His death was investigated and it is believed that he committed suicide. Now, I don't know much about this person at all. I've listened to his music, I've watched some of his YouTube videos here and there. That's about it. But it was still devastating to hear this news. Such cases like this are not uncommon, I've heard of stories that are similar. But this time it struck me harder than before. I don't know why, but it did. And it hurts. It hurts to know that someone died by their own hand because they couldn't deal with living in this world any longer.<br />
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Life is precious. It is more precious than money or fame. It is more precious than the world itself. Why? Because there is a God who created each and every one of us to the tiniest detail. There isn't a single thing that he doesn't know about us. Those reasons alone should give us more than enough to understand how valued we are. If that isn't enough, we are the only beings, out of everything that he has made, that was created in his image. We are God's creation. We are loved and valued by him. Because honestly, why would he create something that he didn't love and enjoy? We can't begin to understand his thoughts or motives, but the truth is there for us to see. We are his and he is there for us.<br />
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I'm not saying that he is there some of the time. God is there all of the time. Even in those moments where one thing after another goes wrong. Even when it feels like everyone has their life together, but you feel like yours is falling to pieces. You're not alone. No one is ever alone. I don't want you to ever feel that way. I know that feeling. It's crippling. It halts everything that is going on in your life and it just consumes your mind. I struggle with it a lot. Every time I move and settle into a new place, a new home, I feel so alone. With the technology that there is today, I can still keep in touch with everyone who I'm friends with. But that doesn't even remotely compare to a face to face conversation.<br />
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No matter where you are, no matter what's going on in your life, God is there for you. It may seem like he's distant, like he's never really there. But that is not true. He's always there. Sometimes, he's just silent. Sometimes, he's working in ways that you can't physically see. And that's alright. You just have to trust that he knows what is best for you. That trust is something that I have to constantly work on. I go back and forth on how strong my trust is in him. But trusting him is the only way to feel truly comforted, to be at peace. There is no other way.<br />
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And I want you to know that I am here too. You're not alone. God is with you but there are also people around you that here for you. All you have to do is allow them to be there for you. If you're ever need someone to listen to you or maybe to just be there for you, I'm here. Don't allow yourself to be shut off from those who care about you. Their care for you is not pointless. They want to be of help...and so do I.<br />
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<b>G Paige </b><br />
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<br />Gabi Phttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10580749414249383088noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-851355724325381003.post-74889841049502017472017-12-02T10:30:00.000-05:002018-06-19T11:18:29.084-04:00A Life Update (NaNoWriMo, Old Friends, and Thanksgiving)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Hey friends. It's been a long time, hasn't it? My last blog post was published over a month ago. That was a much longer time than I intended to go without a single blog post. It wasn't that I didn't have the time. For I've come to the realization that the things that you really want to do you'll make time for, at least, in most cases. It was just that I didn't have the motivation. I didn't really want to write a blog post.<br />
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Anyways, I am now getting to the long overdue blog post. Since it's been a long time since I've last written, I thought that I'd do a kind of update on what's been going on in my life lately. First of all, I participated in <a href="https://nanowrimo.org/">NaNoWriMo</a>, also known as National Novel Writing Month. For those of you who don't know, it is a event that happens every November where writers challenge themselves to write 50,000 words for their WIP within that month. I have done this for the past two years now, this was my third time. The first time I wrote about 50,000 words. The second time I wrote about 70,000 words. This time... Well, here's the stats.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyTNX2bDrtDx6TYDHPiIu73F5acHf-9lEzsjRjiwvlx7WHBvScOWpFtdDxlTyM6SQkCzVxtscKxY7Clzqta2ZFq6oj75mNO9Kz1CeIVUW4qoqw7aH4WMWiCZtqxPiyl7jE96h-b1ZF1bz4/s1600/Screen+Shot+2017-12-01+at+4.58.18+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="450" data-original-width="935" height="191" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyTNX2bDrtDx6TYDHPiIu73F5acHf-9lEzsjRjiwvlx7WHBvScOWpFtdDxlTyM6SQkCzVxtscKxY7Clzqta2ZFq6oj75mNO9Kz1CeIVUW4qoqw7aH4WMWiCZtqxPiyl7jE96h-b1ZF1bz4/s400/Screen+Shot+2017-12-01+at+4.58.18+PM.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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I have to say that I am a little proud of myself this time. I know that I could have written more, because I did have quite a bit of free time, even with all of the writing, I'm alright with what I got. That had been my goal from the beginning so to actually accomplish it felt really good. I couldn't have done it without some great sprinting partners though (<a href="http://awritersfaith.blogspot.com/">Katie</a>, <a href="http://totallygraced.blogspot.com/">Grace</a>, and <a href="https://craftingstoriesinred.wordpress.com/">Athelas</a> to name a few.).<br />
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Also, in the meantime, I was still partially able to have a life so that was fantastic. I was able to watch a whole season of a Korean drama (Fall in Love with Soon-jung) and read a bunch. Of course, I was mostly reading manga, but I did get through a few books too. But after all of that writing, I kind of feel a little dead. I'm going to try to keep up the momentum, but there may need to be a couple days' break first. <br />
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You may be wondering why I would tell you all of this without actually telling you what I'm writing about. Well, it's a secret and I think we'll leave it at that. <strike>It's not because I don't know how to explain my own writing. Ha.</strike> Actually, I'm not that mean, so here's a little description. It was the best way that I could put what I'm writing about into words so don't judge me on the quality of it.<br />
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<i>An ice skater, a secret drug addict, who is preparing for the
competition of a lifetime. A drug lord's daughter who is trying to break
out from her father's tyranny and do what she loves.</i></div>
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<i>What happens when
these two worlds collide?</i></div>
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For now, the title is <i>When Two Worlds Collide</i>. This was the first time that I actually came up with the title of the book before I wrote it. I'm pretty happy with it so I hope it sticks.<br />
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There was other stuff happening alongside this too. Like the fact that I MET MAGGIE STIEFVATER. I got to meet up with the lovely <a href="http://timeforaimeesopinion.blogspot.com/">Aimee Meester</a> and together we went to her book signing. This was my first time doing such a thing and it was wonderful. Maggie is absolutely hilarious. I was basically laughing nonstop throughout the time that she spoke about her new book All the Crooked Saints. Needless to say, I'm fairly excited to read it. <br />
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Also, my dad got to come up from Puerto Rico to visit after almost two months of being apart. I was so very glad to see him. We had to pick him up around 1am, but it was totally worth it. Later that day we drove up to Wisconsin to see some old friends that we hadn't seen in at least three years or so. It was the best...and super cold. I love visiting old friends. It is so weird how natural it is to be with them, as if no time had passed at all since we last saw them. But at the same time there is this difference that is hard to describe. Those couple of days passed by so fast and before we knew it we were back with my grandparents and it was Thanksgiving.<br />
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I know that I had a lot of things to be grateful for this year, more so than a lot of people. But, to be honest, I found it hard to be thankful this year. I could only seem to focus on all the things that I didn't have and not so much on the things that I did have. I'm not proud of it, but it is the truth. I miss living in our own house. I miss our family being together. I miss living in a place where I have friends who live there too. Another thing that has made me feel a little less than thankful is that my dad left this past week. That was kind of surreal. I slept like two hours to then get up with Mom and take him to the airport at 3am. When we got back, I slept for another three hours.<br />
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So, I've been feeling a little down, but I'm trying to focus on the things that I can be grateful for. It's a work in progress. And I'm not sure that it'll ever <i>not </i>be a work in progress, but that's okay. <br />
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<b>G Paige</b><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">How has November been for you? Did you participate in NaNoWriMo? Tell me all the things!</span><b> </b></h3>
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Gabi Phttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10580749414249383088noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-851355724325381003.post-76992980421956812082017-11-01T06:30:00.000-04:002018-06-19T11:18:38.361-04:00It is alright to not be fine.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I am a emotional person. I don't want to be, but I am. Emotions take me on a roller coaster everyday of my life. I go from one emotion to the next. Sometimes it's multiple emotions that assault me. It changes like the flip of a switch. One moment I'll be thinking just how good life is. The next moment I'm thinking just how hard this life is. It doesn't take much to change my mood. It's unstable. It's so frustratingly capricious.<br />
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I wish that I could say that I exercise control over my emotions. I wish that I could say that there aren't days that I cry. That there aren't days where I wonder what is the point of all of this. That there aren't days that I'm sick of this life. Some days I'm just so depressed. Some days I just feel like I can't do this thing called life anymore. Some days I just want to give up. It would be a lie to say that everything was fine, because everything is not fine. To believe that there are people who live perfect lives and have it all together, is like believing in something out of a fairy tale. It's unrealistic. We all have bad days. We stumble and sometimes, we fall.<br />
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But we have to pick ourselves back up again. We have to remember that life is not just something that we will always be stumbling and falling through. We have to remember that life is not an insurmountable mountain. It is not just hardship. It is not just an endless time of pain. Life is full of those beautiful moments that can never be replicated. Life is full of those precious people who mean so much to you. Life is full of love and joy and things that there are no real words to describe. There is meaning to this thing called life. We can't live out our lives without some belief that there is a point to all of this. How could that even be called living? <br />
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God gives meaning to life. He gives purpose to our lives. He sent his son to die so that we might live. His grace knows no bounds. We are fully loved by God. There are no conditions attached. Though our greatest deeds are absolutely worthless to him, he still wants our love and devotion and worship. That is something that seems so contradictory to us. By nature, we look out for ways to make a profit. We do what benefits us. God goes against all of that. What kind of benefits did God ever receive from us? Nothing. He created this whole beautiful world. He created us. He wanted us. How did we repay him? We slaughtered his son. We've broken his commandments over and over again.<br />
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For some reason, he still loves us. We can't even begin to imagine to why. But it doesn't matter if we understand or not. Either way, he loves us no matter what. He is why we can keep pressing on. He gave everything, unquestionably everything, for us. We owe him what we will never be able to repay. This is why we can live with joy and hope in our hearts. He gave us value. This worth is something that can't be weighted to any amount of money. It is invaluable.<br />
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This brings me peace. I have worth. This value won't disappear no matter what I do. I know that there is a purpose to life. God has a written plan for each and everyone of us. And even though life is not always alright, in fact, a lot of the time it is not okay. It's alright. It is alright for it to not be fine. And it's alright for you to admit that life is not okay, because that is truth. That is life.<br />
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<b>G Paige</b> <br />
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<br />Gabi Phttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10580749414249383088noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-851355724325381003.post-37625389895811596322017-10-25T06:30:00.000-04:002018-06-19T11:18:45.528-04:00How important are relationships?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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It is clear that relationships is major part of our lives. We spend a lot of our time around other people. Whether its family, relatives, friends, coworkers, or strangers, we spend a lot of time with people. We are all human. <strike>Or are we?</strike> We, as humans, develop
relationships with these people that we spend time with, to some degree. In some cases those
relationships never go farther than acquaintances. In others, it becomes
a deep relationship that'll last a lifetime. And there are
many relationships that are somewhere in between those two extremes.<br />
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Having acquaintances takes hardly any effort. We all have a lot of acquaintances. But for me personally, and maybe for the majority of people out there, I can't live my life surrounded by only acquaintances. I crave something deeper than that. I want close relationships. Ones that really will last a lifetime. Do you crave those kinds of relationships? Do you find that you thrive off those relationships? I know that I do. Those kind of relationships you don't just suddenly get though. For close relationships, you have to be intentional. You have to want to have a relationship and then you have to act upon that. And it can't be one-sided. Both of the people involved in the relationship have to be intentional about it. It takes effort. It takes work. Sometimes it is easy. Sometimes it is hard.<br />
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It is even harder when you are apart. That's when the relationship is put to the test. And unfortunately, that is when you realize who you real friends are. I...deal with this a lot. I move around every couple of years. I usually make a good amount of friends at each place. Then I leave, and sadly that amount of friends goes down. Some people I never talk to again. And I get it. For some people, they probably just don't have any experience with keeping up with long distance relationships. They're used to living near their friends where they have a bunch of opportunities to spend time with those people. And with long distance relationships, you have to put yourself out there to keep in touch with them.<br />
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I have trouble keeping in touch with people. I really do. You would think that because I move around a lot that I would have become an expert at this long distance relationship thing. But I'm not. There are times when I keep up with it and I'm talking with people and keeping in touch, days maybe weeks at a time. But then there will be other times where I hardly talk to anyone for weeks. I'll forget about it and just lose myself in my own little world. Or I'll just don't feel like I have the energy to talk to people and so I kind of avoid it. Keeping in touch through long distance doesn't take up physical energy, but it takes up mental energy. And sometimes I don't feel like I can do it. I go through phases of this, on and off. I'll put forth so much effort towards it. Or I'll put forth no effort at all. It frustrates me.<br />
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But you know what? No matter how hard it is, it's still so worth it to keep in touch with those that you're close to. If I've learned anything from moving around all the time, I've learned that relationships are one of the most important things in life. I know that it's hard. Trust me, I know how hard it is. But it is still worth it. Those people will be the ones that you will want to go when you feel bombarded with problems or you just want to chat to someone. And those are the ones that you will want to come to you with their problems. Because life, life is meant to be spent with others. It's meant to be spent together. And you'll find that those people mean the world to you.<br />
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<b>G Paige</b>Gabi Phttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10580749414249383088noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-851355724325381003.post-82903665264265299932017-10-14T06:30:00.000-04:002018-06-19T11:18:54.006-04:00He is Enough<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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If you've read my recent post, you know how crazy and unusual my life has been lately. It's not been normal, that is for sure. It's been one thing after another and here I am writing this post at six in the morning in a friend's house close to two thousand miles away from home. I never expected to be here. I couldn't even imagine being here. It wasn't even possible in my mind's eye. Neither could I have believed that I would be where I am because of the circumstances that I left. I don't think that anyone could have predicted what happened to Puerto Rico and the surrounding areas. It was an absolute catastrophe. And that doesn't even begin to describe it.<br />
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While everything that's going on is tragic, I think that this has also a bit of a blessing in disguise. It has taught me, and is teaching me, so many things. I've been reminded of so much that I take for granted. I've been made aware of so many things that I've forgotten. And it's been one of the most eye-opening experiences for me, personally. For that reason, I try to be thankful. <br />
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It's shown exactly just how how easily our material possessions can be taken away. I know so many people who've just lost about everything just because their house is filled up to three feet of water within their house. My house, thankfully, was in a better place than many of the other houses and we didn't lose very much at all. But that didn't make it any less potent. Material things are nothing to God, nothing even to nature. They are easily taken away.<br />
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Unsurprisingly, this event has taught me just how much I can live without. When we left, my five other family members and I were only allowed to bring everything we could into a suitcase and a couple of backpacks. I don't know how me managed, but somehow I think everyone had about a week's worth of clothes and such. And you know what? It's been enough. There have been a couple of things that we've had to buy, like wintry clothes that we don't have, but it hasn't been that much. In fact, it's been kind of freeing. You realize how much that you don't have to have. And how big of a difference there is to what you used to think that you needed. It's amazing. We don't need as much as we think. <strike>This is not to say that we all need to get rid of most of what we have and live out of a suitcase. </strike><br />
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It's exposed me to the fact that I have so many amazing friends. You could not believe the amount of people who have offered for me to stay at their place. It is absolutely mind blowing. I never expected such responses from so many people. It makes me so happy inside to know that so many people care. Friends are important, more important than I ever realized before. These are the friends that have encouraged me, that have lifted me up, that have given me their time, that have let me talk to them about all my problems and rant for an hour or more. These people have given me so much strength. They have given me the energy to keep moving forward. That's it alright to admit that it's hard.<br />
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We seem to think that our lives are normal, that they'll always be "normal". That we'll always have the belongings that we have, the opportunities that we take advantage of, the necessities that we need, the time to get everything done, etc. We assume these things as ours and that they'll never be taken away. Unintentially, we think that because things have been the way they are for so long, that they'll stay they'll stay that way. It is such an easy assumption to make. And you only realize how big of an assumption it is when it is challenged. When suddenly the rug is pulled out from under you and you're falling, falling, and falling with nothing to hold onto.<br />
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But there isn't nothing to hold onto. God's there. And he'll always be there. Even when it seems like there is nothing that you can lean on, nothing that you can rely upon, there's God. The God who sacrificed his son's life for you. The one who's grace will cover all of your sins. We can give our hope, our trust, our very lives to Him no matter what is going on in our lives. Our lives could be easy right now or our lives could be the hardest that they've ever been. It doesn't matter. God is there either way. <br />
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Life is hard. It will still be hard even when you put your faith in God. Sometimes I just want to sit in a corner and cry and wish for an easier life. Other times I want to scream and yell out all of my frustrations to someone, anyone. It feels like I'm going mad, or crazy, many times. It won't always be like this though. God is there, and that gives me hope that someday, someday things will be easier. <br />
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<b>G Paige</b>Gabi Phttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10580749414249383088noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-851355724325381003.post-88566067381725295472017-10-04T06:30:00.000-04:002018-06-19T11:19:11.575-04:00Living in the Caribbean<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I can confidently say that this is one of the most hectic times of my entire life. Life is definitely not "normal" right now. I have never had my life so drastically changed because of a hurricane. <br />
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As many of you may know, I live in Puerto Rico. I've been there for a little over two years. And if you have seen anything on the news about the Caribbean, then you know that it is really hectic down there.<br />
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It all started after I came home from an absolutely amazing college conference. I hadn't been home for maybe a few days before I heard about hurricane Irma. It quickly became a dangerous hurricane as it approached the island. We were all sure that it was going to hit us hard and we prepared for that. Thank God though, that it barely touched us. It got dark and a little windy, but we were still able to step outside and watch. Unfortunately, it took out our power, internet, and cable. Our neighborhood is one of the few that has generators, but that doesn't give you air conditioning and you can't use your oven or anything that takes up too much power. In a few days, we were off generator power, but still no internet. Almost a week later after Irma, we got internet back. I was so happy about it. I could finally do some schoolwork! How clueless I was. The next day internet was out again. But we all thought everything was back on track when it came on a few days later.<br />
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Then I heard about hurricane Maria. I didn't feel too worried about this one. We survived Irma, right? This wouldn't be so bad. We were prepared. Or so I thought. As the day approached that Maria would hit, worry started to eat away at me. I saw how dangerous of a hurricane Maria was becoming and I saw how it was going to make a direct hit with Puerto Rico. The eye of the storm was supposed to pass only a little ways away from where I lived. Would we really be alright? I can't begin to describe all the thoughts that were going through my head at the time. It wasn't too long, almost two weeks from when Irma hit, before it was the day that the Maria was to impact Puerto Rico. That morning, we found out that the military was evacuating all military dependents who wanted to leave, but there was only a limited amount of seats. Since we were military dependents (my dad is in the military), we quickly signed up. There was havoc as we tried to pack. We had to fit all the necessities for six people into one suitcase and a few backpacks. It was absolutely insane, but we somehow managed it and left for the airport. A few hours later, we boarded a C-130 (quite literally, a cargo plane), leaving my dad behind.<br />
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I think sitting on that plane was when it really hit. Hurricane Maria became a much bigger danger in my mind than before. It was so much more real. And it scared me. Those cargo planes, they're like the ones in the movies that you see all the military men on when they're heading out for a mission. Those planes make you very thankful for seat belts. If we hadn't been wearing our seat belts, we would have slid to the back of the plane when it took off. It was such a loud plane that you were required to wear hearing protection. The seats vibrated during the whole flight. We made one stop on the other side of the island to pick up a few more people, then we flew directly to Florida. It was a long flight, especially with younger siblings who didn't like staying seated at all. We touched down late at night and had an even later dinner before going to bed exhausted around midnight. The next day we spent at the hotel, anxious for any recent news on what was going on in Puerto Rico. We saw some videos, a few photos and none of them made me feel reassured at all. In fact, they worried me more than before. That morning we lost contact with my dad. He lost cell service. We didn't hear from him until that evening, and even then it was quick and short. That night we booked flights for the next day to my grandparents.<br />
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Since September 21st, we've been with family. We don't know when we'll be able to return to Puerto Rico. Rumors are that it will be four to six months before everything is back and running normally. I feel kind of like I'm in a daze. Like this isn't real. In one day, I went from thinking that I was going to weather a hurricane to being in Florida. It was only two days later and I was in Ohio. This feels so surreal. I don't know where to begin on how to describe it. I'm finally starting to settle into a routine, but it's still not normal. I want some normalcy. I want to be "home". But you know what? I'm okay with where I'm at (or I'm trying very hard to be). Sometimes, things happen that you never would expect. Things that you could never anticipate. Sometimes, life throws things at you (like hurricanes) that destroy whatever plans you had set to fulfill. And sometimes, you just have to go with it. You just have to trust that this is somehow a part of God's plan for your life, even if you have no idea how.<br />
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That's where I'm at right now. I have no idea what's to come. Right now, I'm just beginning to realize how much of a adventure life can be.<br />
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<b>G Paige</b><br />
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<br />Gabi Phttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10580749414249383088noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-851355724325381003.post-4214510474970752312017-09-30T08:00:00.000-04:002018-06-19T11:19:17.670-04:00A Fresh StartA fresh start. That is what I've wanted for awhile now. A new beginning. I am no longer the same person who started that blog <a href="http://www.aheartredeemed.wordpress.com/">A Heart Redeemed</a> over two years ago. That is a person who went through books like dark chocolate. A person who fangirled over a million different things. A person who struggled to find the words that would uplift people and show them how important God is. A person who was an excessive introvert. A person who was quiet and shy and nervous about voicing her own opinions. One who struggled with words, but somehow fell in love with them.<br />
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I am not that person anymore. Yes, I still read, but not as much as I once did. And yes, I can still ramble on and on about what I love, but not as often as before. Talking about God, bringing light and hope into a dark and hopeless world, is not as hard as it used to be. I am still a introvert, but I've been more of an extrovert these last few months than ever before. I can be quiet, but I am no longer shy. I want to voice my opinions, even if I worry about what others will think of them. And words, words poor out of me like a waterfall. Whether they bleed onto paper, appear on a screen, or are spoken, they are always around me.<br />
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Words. Words are life. Words are the music of my soul. With words, I can pour out my heart. Words reveal the heart. Words, unwind the soul. With this blog I just want to pour out my heart. I want to put all these thoughts inside my head to paper, or more accurately, to the keyboard. I hope, along the way, to begin to understand myself. To reveal my heart. To unwind my soul. If your willing, I'd love for you to join me on this trail into unknown territory. This is going to be an new adventure...and I'm thrilled to start.<br />
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<b>G Paige</b>Gabi Phttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10580749414249383088noreply@blogger.com12