Life. People. Purpose. Meaning. What's Important?

I'm here.

Can you hear me?

The silence is deafening.

Does it make a difference whether I write or not? I would like to think that it does. Maybe, just maybe, my words will mean something to someone.

Words. They can mean so many different things. Hope. Anger. Joy. Sadness. Contentment. The list is long. Much longer than the space I have here.

Life is a hectic, busy mess. Seeing friends, both old and new. Conversations, some involving tears. Others that make me so happy that I can't help but smile.

Often, there are times when I'm just done. I don't want to have anything to do with this world or the people in it. It's too hard. But sometimes, I'm able to see the beauty of life. Though there are times when it is so hard to just keep moving forward, that makes those precious moments and memories so much sweeter.

Life is not just about me. I've known that for a long time. But I think that I've only fully begun to understand just what that means when you live it out. It involves going out of your way to make a difference in the lives of the people around you. Sometimes that's as simple as sending a text to someone, showing him or her that you care and you're thinking of them. Other times it takes a little more effort. Like taking time out of your day to talk to someone who's struggling. Or spending some money to make another person's day. It takes effort. It's hard. But the results are so worth it.

It is so much more important to understand that what you do matters. Especially since life isn't about you...or me. It really matters. Every action you take has some effect on those around you. There's no way around it. What you do matters. So find what's important to you. What is your purpose? Find those things that fulfill your purpose and bring meaning into your life. Once you find them, pursue them. Don't pursue them halfheartedly. PURSUE THEM. Chase them. If it takes doing something that you don't enjoy for the time being to get to what you do enjoy. Do it. If it takes letting go of some things in order to spend time on what's actually important to you. Do it. Don't wait. Nothing's going to change until you make a move.

Plenty of people talk about waiting for an answer from God before making a move to follow or pursue some dream. I'm not against that. There's a time and a place for that. For sure. But more often than not I find that we need to make the first move before we get an answer from God. Let's say that you're in the driver's seat of a car. God is the steering wheel to lead you in the right direction. You have to press the gas pedal in order for God to steer you in the right direction. The steering wheel is useless until the car is moving. You can't tell which direction you're headed until you start to move. And maybe there will be a time that you'll head in the wrong direction. That's entirely possible. In fact, it is probable. For that, I can tell you only one thing. God is great at redirecting. He will make sure that you are following the plan that he has for your life even though you can't see it. He knows your purpose backward and forwards. He's not going to let you go down the wrong path forever.

G Paige

How important are relationships?

It is clear that relationships is major part of our lives. We spend a lot of our time around other people. Whether its family, relatives, friends, coworkers, or strangers, we spend a lot of time with people. We are all human. Or are we? We, as humans, develop relationships with these people that we spend time with, to some degree. In some cases those relationships never go farther than acquaintances. In others, it becomes a deep relationship that'll last a lifetime. And there are many relationships that are somewhere in between those two extremes.

Having acquaintances takes hardly any effort. We all have a lot of acquaintances. But for me personally, and maybe for the majority of people out there, I can't live my life surrounded by only acquaintances. I crave something deeper than that. I want close relationships. Ones that really will last a lifetime. Do you crave those kinds of relationships? Do you find that you thrive off those relationships? I know that I do. Those kind of relationships you don't just suddenly get though. For close relationships, you have to be intentional. You have to want to have a relationship and then you have to act upon that. And it can't be one-sided. Both of the people involved in the relationship have to be intentional about it. It takes effort. It takes work. Sometimes it is easy. Sometimes it is hard.

It is even harder when you are apart. That's when the relationship is put to the test. And unfortunately, that is when you realize who you real friends are. I...deal with this a lot. I move around every couple of years. I usually make a good amount of friends at each place. Then I leave, and sadly that amount of friends goes down. Some people I never talk to again. And I get it. For some people, they probably just don't have any experience with keeping up with long distance relationships. They're used to living near their friends where they have a bunch of opportunities to spend time with those people. And with long distance relationships, you have to put yourself out there to keep in touch with them.

I have trouble keeping in touch with people. I really do. You would think that because I move around a lot that I would have become an expert at this long distance relationship thing. But I'm not. There are times when I keep up with it and I'm talking with people and keeping in touch, days maybe weeks at a time. But then there will be other times where I hardly talk to anyone for weeks. I'll forget about it and just lose myself in my own little world. Or I'll just don't feel like I have the energy to talk to people and so I kind of avoid it. Keeping in touch through long distance doesn't take up physical energy, but it takes up mental energy. And sometimes I don't feel like I can do it. I go through phases of this, on and off. I'll put forth so much effort towards it. Or I'll put forth no effort at all. It frustrates me.

But you know what? No matter how hard it is, it's still so worth it to keep in touch with those that you're close to. If I've learned anything from moving around all the time, I've learned that relationships are one of the most important things in life. I know that it's hard. Trust me, I know how hard it is. But it is still worth it. Those people will be the ones that you will want to go when you feel bombarded with problems or you just want to chat to someone. And those are the ones that you will want to come to you with their problems. Because life, life is meant to be spent with others. It's meant to be spent together. And you'll find that those people mean the world to you.

G Paige

He is Enough

If you've read my recent post, you know how crazy and unusual my life has been lately. It's not been normal, that is for sure. It's been one thing after another and here I am writing this post at six in the morning in a friend's house close to two thousand miles away from home. I never expected to be here. I couldn't even imagine being here. It wasn't even possible in my mind's eye. Neither could I have believed that I would be where I am because of the circumstances that I left. I don't think that anyone could have predicted what happened to Puerto Rico and the surrounding areas. It was an absolute catastrophe. And that doesn't even begin to describe it.

While everything that's going on is tragic, I think that this has also a bit of a blessing in disguise. It has taught me, and is teaching me, so many things. I've been reminded of so much that I take for granted. I've been made aware of so many things that I've forgotten. And it's been one of the most eye-opening experiences for me, personally. For that reason, I try to be thankful.

It's shown exactly just how how easily our material possessions can be taken away. I know so many people who've just lost about everything just because their house is filled up to three feet of water within their house. My house, thankfully, was in a better place than many of the other houses and we didn't lose very much at all. But that didn't make it any less potent. Material things are nothing to God, nothing even to nature. They are easily taken away.

Unsurprisingly, this event has taught me just how much I can live without. When we left, my five other family members and I were only allowed to bring everything we could into a suitcase and a couple of backpacks. I don't know how me managed, but somehow I think everyone had about a week's worth of clothes and such. And you know what? It's been enough. There have been a couple of things that we've had to buy, like wintry clothes that we don't have, but it hasn't been that much. In fact, it's been kind of freeing. You realize how much that you don't have to have. And how big of a difference there is to what you used to think that you needed. It's amazing. We don't need as much as we think. This is not to say that we all need to get rid of most of what we have and live out of a suitcase.

It's exposed me to the fact that I have so many amazing friends. You could not believe the amount of people who have offered for me to stay at their place. It is absolutely mind blowing. I never expected such responses from so many people. It makes me so happy inside to know that so many people care. Friends are important, more important than I ever realized before. These are the friends that have encouraged me, that have lifted me up, that have given me their time, that have let me talk to them about all my problems and rant for an hour or more. These people have given me so much strength. They have given me the energy to keep moving forward. That's it alright to admit that it's hard.

We seem to think that our lives are normal, that they'll always be "normal". That we'll always have the belongings that we have, the opportunities that we take advantage of, the necessities that we need, the time to get everything done, etc. We assume these things as ours and that they'll never be taken away. Unintentially, we think that because things have been the way they are for so long, that they'll stay they'll stay that way. It is such an easy assumption to make. And you only realize how big of an assumption it is when it is challenged. When suddenly the rug is pulled out from under you and you're falling, falling, and falling with nothing to hold onto.

But there isn't nothing to hold onto. God's there. And he'll always be there. Even when it seems like there is nothing that you can lean on, nothing that you can rely upon, there's God. The God who sacrificed his son's life for you. The one who's grace will cover all of your sins. We can give our hope, our trust, our very lives to Him no matter what is going on in our lives. Our lives could be easy right now or our lives could be the hardest that they've ever been. It doesn't matter. God is there either way.

Life is hard. It will still be hard even when you put your faith in God. Sometimes I just want to sit in a corner and cry and wish for an easier life. Other times I want to scream and yell out all of my frustrations to someone, anyone. It feels like I'm going mad, or crazy, many times. It won't always be like this though. God is there, and that gives me hope that someday, someday things will be easier.

G Paige